Driving on Delhi roads is no less adventerous than say bun-jee jumping or river rafting or even a highly charged up video game. Its Heart skipping... emotional..and a whole lot of fun in a sadistic way.
A typical day -
Start your journey to wherever it is you want to go by making some necessary checks-
Seat belts .... Check!
Hand break down... Check!
Mirrors in place .... Check!
Key in ignition ... Check!
Fuel tank filled just about enough so that you dont get stranded halfway ... Check!
Take a deep breath and make a small prayer so that you get out of this alive...Check!
So now you're driving along merrily, Check your rear view mirrors.. No cars..bikes..bullock-carts...tempos...autorickshaws or even cows on your trail ? Good !! but dont get all relaxad as yet, here's the turn that takes you into the busiest road, well! come to think of it even the narrowest gulley looks like the whole damn world is in it! So,you're making your way along this road and here's when you got to be on full alert. Thank God you're strapped on safely..Umm.. on second thoughts I think you should wear a helmet and a safety jacket too.. you never know what might strike and from which direction!!
So now that you've entered what can also be called a battlefield, there are a couple of rules-
> Driving straight and sticking to your lane WILL get you killed for sure!
> If your way is blocked by a bullock-cart, auto-rickshaw, bike or even a leisurely cow and you DONT swear, scream or honk your brains out.. well! Tch Tch...not only is this a Foul, you are missing out all the sadistic pleasure you can possibly feel by not doing so.
> Ignore all signboards telling you to control your speed limit, No U turns, No overtaking etc. All hogwash if you ask me.They were just put there to beautify the city. (you see, Trees take too long to grow) Trust me on this.
> 100 Bonus points for Jumping the Red signal.
> 10000 Bonus points for Speeding... (wooohoo.. whooshing past..okay.. ahem! )
> 10000 Bonus points if you can zigzag your way through the traffic without bumping into another vehicle.
> JACKPOT- If you can dodge the traffic cops for adherence to all of the above.
Ok so? What is it with Delhiites and their traffic sense or lack of it ?
Methinks its Patriotism to blame, this love thy country thingy. The "Treat Bharat Ma as your own.. take care of her as your own" feeling overflowing in people's hearts. As a result we think that everything in the city including the roads are our personal property! And since its all mine I'll treat it any way i want.I'll drive straight, backwards,.zigzag...heck! even horizontally.. I'll spit and pee anywhere I like.. what's your problem ?
8 comments:
hehe ... well its same casue with every city i guess.
he he - love it. You forgot to mention the occasional bump you ought to give those damn auto-rikshas, or at least squeeze them between your car and the pavement.
Hi Namrata,
Its just my point of view, but I do think that the humour would have been more effective had you made it personal.
And yes, which PATRIOTIC Indian would not agree with what you have said!!!
Please keep us updated with more of our patriotic pleasures!!!!
Scott, Anthony.
A nice topic to take it up as a discussion forum. I have always considered that unregulated traffic conditions in India are due to the less severity of punishments by the traffic cops. Sometimes, we feel happy to get away with a cop for not having a license or jumping a signal. However thats not the way things r supposed to be..isn't it?
Well, i appreciate ur try for blogging abt social issues in a funny way. Still, I luv ur poems & story writing skills more than anything else...
Finally I comment !!!
Even though its been 2 yrs since I drove in India, I could so easily identify with everything you said ( except the seat belt ... haven't used it in India) ... and as someone who has driven here often enuf ... I can say this ...during our roadtrips here we say man its so boring driving here, India was so exciting. I liked the points funda ... I must have accumulated quite a ton of points during my days there. And yes lane driving is no good .. why drive staright when you can zig zag. You guys are getting a free rollercoaster ride everyday ... lucky buggers. We have to pay 40 bucks for entry to a theme park to do that.
And I love love swearing at everyone while driving .. that was the best part.
But seriously .... the only way thats gonna improve is by strict enforcement of laws. When you can get away from a traffic violation by paying a cop 50 - 100 - 500 bucks, you will continue to exercise that option. So it has to be taken away. But for that a cop who barely takes home enuf to feed his family has to be given more incentive to enforce the rules than to accept a bribe. Its a long and endless line of corruption and "me, myself n I" feeling which is the bane of the system.
trust me when the rules are enforced, then you respect them. I can vouch for this as someone who had his license suspended for 18 months cos of too many speeding tickets.
I guess Chennai's traffic isn't way behind Delhi's Chaos. Hehehe. Good post though.
I live in Bangalore, the undisputed leader in India when it comes to traffic problems and rash driving, but I'm fortunate enough not to travel much everyday. :-)
Woooooo the scenario remains same for all Indian Cities i guess, lady .In recent times a must say Bangalore should emerge as a leader in chaotic traffic and never ending traffic jams !!!
Indiangal
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