Tomorrow Will Be Beautiful!

Here's my first attempt at writing Romance....Before you read the story, Let me clarify that even though the story is narrated in the first person it has no connection whatsoever, to me! This is purely fictional and out of my imagination. I just needed something close to reality to help me relate to the charector so that I could explain the emotions and hence the first person narration. So dont go getting any ideas.. like some of you already have!! Let me know if you think I was succesful. ;-)

It was an extremely warm morning showing all signs of turning into a sultry and oppresive day. I stood at the bus stand, like I did everyday, waiting for the bus to arrive that would take me to work. As always it arrived at a quarter past 8. I boarded it and headed for my usual seat at the back of the bus and settled down near the window. After a 10 minute drive the bus stopped and I cast my eyes upon the entrance with anticipation.A tall figure dressed in a crisp white shirt and blue jeans climbed in. He walked down the aisle, eyes  scanning for an empty seat and for a second they settled on mine. My heart skipped a beat and I looked away quickly shifting my attention to the scene outside the window. He settled down two seats ahead of me on the other side. "YEAH RIGHT !!! LIKE if he sat next to you, you'd strike up a conversation! Get a grip..will you? "the voice in my head taunted." "I dont want him to sit next to me ", I though back in response. "I dont need this"

The next day, I was back at the bustop, boarded the bus and took the seat at the back as usual. 10 minutes later the bus stopped and he climbed in. He was dressed in a blue checked shirt and light brown trousers today, looking handsome as ever. As always he scanned the length of the bus for an empty seat.A moment later a whiff of strong cologne intoxicated my senses reminding me of the wild woods.I turned around and found myself looking into a pair of gorgeous deep black eyes.He had occupied the seat next to me. He gave me a smile and I felt as if I would die. I quickly looked away as though nothing happend. My heart beating so loud that I held my breath from the fear that he might hear it. My mind was fiercely ticking away,

"Whats wrong with you ?HE smiled at you and you just looked away.Ughhhhh What were you THINKING? How stupid can you get? He probably thinks you're  nuts.. you're so STUPID.. STUPID.. STUPID!!! .. Let him, I dont care what he thinks of me, I dont know him and its not like I have feelings for him. I dont want to talk to him!"

For the rest of the journey, I kept my eyes glued to the scene outside the window as the bus sped towards its destination, hoping with all my heart that I could just turn invisible.

Days went by, turned into a month and everyday he would board the bus 10 minutes after I did, but except for that one time, he never sat next to me. However with each passing day, I kept thinking about him more and more and the fact that he kept clouding my thoughts annoyed me. "Get a life woman! Im warning you , dont make the same mistake again! Wasn't what happened with Pete a lesson enough? " Thoughts of Pete took me back to the pain, a time over a year back, still fresh in my mind as if it happened just yesterday. Pete and I met in college and took an instant liking to one another. We were together for 4 years and it seemed like nothing could tear us apart. But I was horribly wrong. He was the most devoted, caring and loving boyfriend or so I thought until that evening at a party at one of Pete's colleague's house. We went together.. he introduced me to his colleagues and left me with some of his female coworkers and disappeared. It had been over an hour since I saw him around and I started getting worried. So I excused myself to go look for him. The house was big and I walked around keeping an eye out for him and asked a couple of his friends but they hadn't noticed where he went. I walked up the stairs to the corridor leading to the bedrooms and heard a woman giggling. Thinking I was probably invading someone's privacy I turned to go back down and then I heard Pete's voice talking to the woman giggling. I walked back up towards them. It was coming from one of the bedrooms. I leaned against the door and listened. It was clearly Pete. I pushed open the door and the sight made me sick to my stomach. I dont remember how I got back home. I was in such a daze. How could he do this to me. We spent 4 years together, did that not mean anything to him? I thought he loved me. We were planning to get married. I was devastated. The last thing I expected was my Pete to cheat on me. I was so heartbroken. For a year, I kept to myself, I lost all faith in love and pushed my family and friends away. But then recently I decided that by being this way I was unfair to my friends and family and so I came out of my shell. I had however written men off my life. " And so I'm not going to let this guy bother me "

One day, on a saturday I was at the local coffee shop, seated on a comfy chair in one corner, completely engrossed in a book, when I heard scraping of chairs close-by. I looked up annoyed at being interrupted and looked at the source of the noise. A familiar face caught my sight, a face that I had seen too many times in my dreams, Something I couldn't understand and tried to fight too many times. I followed his every move and then I noticed the other woman. As tall as him, she was almost pretty.If it wasn't for the smug expression on her face and an air of haughtiness around her, she would have been quite a beauty.

I felt something stir in me, an annoyance rising, threatening to explode as I watched the two of them talk. She seemed to be fretting over something and he was trying to console her. "Gawd! what attitude! I wonder what he sees in her." I muttered to myself with exasperation. I tried to get back to the book but couldn't concentrate. My thoughts kept drifting to him and the woman with him.My emotions fluctuated from intense jealousy at watching the amount of attention that woman was getting from him to extreme frustration at myself for feeling jealous over someone I didn't even know and clearly did not care about. "Dont lie to yourself girl, you like him... No I dont.. shuttup!!

The woman received a call, spoke to someone for a few moments and disconnected the phone. Then she said something to him and rushed out. Her abrupt exit was quite unexpected and for a split second my heart fluttered at the realisation that he was alone now and that maybe..JUST maybe...,"Oh ! PUHLEEEEZ! Give me a break! With your attitude, even the waiter wont bother asking you for your order! " That inner voice of mine interrupted.

I dared not look at him with the fear of exposing the hopeful expression on my face." So much for the No men pact you made for yourself!! " But inspite of that I couldn't help but feel drawn to him and so stole a glance at his direction. Our eyes met and for a long moment they stayed transfixed on each other and then he smiled. I stared blankly at him as if he were something unusual and exotic that I had seen for the very first time. Then as though something snapped in my brain,I quickly turned away, raised the book and buried my face deep into it. My nose almost grazing the fine text. I shut my eyes picturing myself banging my head with an extraordinarily large horse shoe! "Tch Tch woman!! WHEN WILL you learn...you are SO hopeless.. HOPELESS!! " mocked my blabbering inner voice. "Shuttup, I dont want to talk to him. Why am I acting like a silly schoolgirl.!! "
 
"Ahem ! Uh! Hi!" , said a deep voice softly over me. I looked up and he was standing there waiting for me to respond. (Say something NOW !)
"Hey! " (Thank God you did not gag while saying that!)
"We go in the same bus to work, dont we?" A silent moment passed that seemed like a light year. "Say something you idiot! He asked you a question. Have you just gone deaf? " The voice inside my head exclaimed.
"Uh! Yes, that's right" He gestured towards the empty seat opposite me seeking permission.(Say yes, say yes, say yes, Geez! Do I have to prompt for every word and action now !! ) I nodded and he sat down.
"I'm Oren." He extended his hand waiting for me to grasp it. I tried to move my hand but it took a moment to coax it to move (Sheesh ! you are NOT paralyzed. Stop acting like one !).
"I'm Tara". I managed to smile while saying that (Yeah, you should get an Oscar for your effort! )
"Thats a pretty name" he complimented
"Thanks! Yours is a weird name." I blurted out  (WHA ! I think I'd better prompt.. you are gonna ruin your chances! ) And immediately added ,"Uh, I meant unusual.. not weird ..and not unusual in a weird way ,, unusual in a different .. nice kind of way.. uh" Paused, took a deep breath and added. "What does it mean ?" (Hoo  boy! stop ..STOP..STOP  You're embarrassing me..!! )
He let out a little laugh, a laugh that lit up his eyes and made him look even more handsome. I thought if I sat there longer watching him smile and talk like that I'd just melt. I've liked guys before but no guy ever made my knees buckle, speech fumble, or make me feel so light headed that created a weakness that sank into my body as if I'd lost all control. I just couldn't understand the paralyzing effect he had on me.
" It means Ash or pine, and thats quite alright. I get that a lot" he was saying (Pay attention woman! ) Coming back to reality, I mustered up a smile to cover up the fact that I wasn't listening and commented  " Oh! thats nice "
"So, what are you reading ?" he asked
"Oh! Im reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire", I almost whispered that in embarrasment. ( Great going, he probably thinks you're in kindergartan!!)
"Nice! My favourite part was when Harry fights the dragon. It was more exciting when I read it compared to when I saw it in the movie. I can't wait to read book 7.." I stared at him in disbelief for a second and then smiled. "Hah! for this one time you were wrong..." I told my inner voice.
 
We sat there talking about topics ranging from books, travelling, music, movies, to politics at the workplace to why people prefer coffee and not Tea, to the ways men woo women! As time ticked I warmed up to him and realised how easy it was to talk to him. He seemed well informed about everything and was open to my opinions which was what made it so easy to talk to him. He was very charming, I got the feeling that it mattered to him if the other person was confortable and enjoying his company or not, which to me seemed like wasn't much of a problem for him seeing that it was so easy to fall in love with him.He also seemed so comfortable with himself, completely oblivious to the fact that he looked like a Greek God! He was so unlike the others I'd met. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the thought of Pete. Thats what I thought of Pete at first. "Oh get off Pete. He is NOT Pete."
 
"Oh! Look at the time. It's almost seven thirty. I should be getting home, its getting late." I said looking at my watch and got up.He followed suit. Being a gentleman, he walked me out the coffee shop. Before going our seperate ways we stopped for a minute to say goodbye.
"Its funny, we take the same bus to work everyday and it takes us a trip to the coffee shop to finally talk". He said.
"Well! They say friendship blossoms over a cup of coffee." I commented trying to be witty "Wha! who said that? That has got to be the dumbest thing you've ever said", The voice was back.A smile beamed across his incredibly handsome face and I let out a silent sigh relieved that my silly comment did not ruin things yet.
"Would you," he paused "Uhm like to probably do something tomorrow.. you know maybe go out or something.. That is if you are not doing anything else." ("My My so he can fumble with words too! ")
(Say yes..YES you DODO.. dont just stand there staring at him blankly) "Uh! yes, I'd love to" I couldn't help smiling ear to ear.
"Great! Could I have your number?" He asked sounding a little relaxed after my answer.

We exchanged numbers and he said he would call me in the morning, then we said our final goodbyes and went our different ways. I lived about a five minute walk from the coffee shop. Today somehow it took me 15 minutes to get home. With a song in my heart, a smile in my eyes and a skip in my step I made my way home, oblivious of the sounds of people going about their business, or the rustle of leaves as a soft breeze shook them, or of the cloudy night sky above me. I was on cloud 9 and I just couldn't understand how I felt this way.

Sunday finally came, but not too soon for me. It rained the whole night and by the time I woke up the sun was out bright and beautiful amongst large fluffy white clouds. I couldn't have asked for a better sign. By the time I finished breakfast, I became restless.As always my mind ticked away in hyper over drive mode "When will he call.. Its almost 10 .. he should have called by now. He said he would. Oh God! what if he doesn't call.. what if he just said he wanted to go out and changed his mind later? No. he wouldn't do that. He's such a nice guy. If he changed his mind he would atleast be a gentleman and call. Just be patient will you ? Its only 10 , probably he's still sleeping. after-all it IS sunday. Control your emotions woman!"
I decided that the only way I was not going to think about if and when he would call, was by keeping myself busy, I decided to help mum with cleaning. An hour and a half later, my phone rang. My heart leapt into my throat. "Its him"
I stared at the phone flashing his name, for a few moments. Gathering my thoughts and taking a lungful of breath,I answered.
"Hey!"
"Hey, Good Morning!" (ooh I could just drown in that voice)
"Good Morning"
"What's up?"
"Oh! nothing much, was just helping mum with the cleaning around the house". "And waiting restlessly every moment for you to call." I added, in my mind.
"Ah! being the ideal daughter eh?" He teased.
"I'm ALWAYS the ideal daughter!" I said with mock irritation.My heart leapt at the sound of him letting put a hearty chuckle.
"So, You still want to meet up today?" He asked finally
"Yes." I answered almost immediately.
"Great! How about we meet at the coffee shop at four sharp and then decide what we want to do?"
"Sounds like a plan." I agreed.
"Super! So I'll see you then."
"Yep. see you. Bye."

I headed for the coffee shop at four. I figured he could wait for 5 minutes, after all I dont want him to think Im so eager to meet him by turning up on time. ("Oh yeah you do..Liar!" Mocked my inner voice) As much as I wanted him to wait for me, i couldn't help but walk a little fast. but when I reached the coffee shop he was nowhere in sight. I checked my watch. it was five past four. I went in to the coffee shop. Probably he's waiting for me inside. I surveyed the tables, but he was not sitting anywhere. I felt a little annoyed. I dont believe this. He's late.Oh well i guess I have no choice but to wait. I walked to my usual seat at the far end of the coffee shop and plopped myself on the sofa. It was the best seat in the house, secluded in one corner it gives you the personal space and privacy to do your own thing and enjoy a good cup of coffee. And the angle is great because you can see what's happening around and who comes in and goes out. My eyes darted from the door to my watch.. It was quarter past four now.. the door opened.. and i looked expectantly.. a group of college guys walked in.. I looked at the watch again twenty past four... thirty minutes past four. Should I call him and find out? NO Dont you have any self esteem woman? Give him another 10 minutes and if he doesnt come just leave. Let him call you and apologize and then give him a piece of your mind. quarter past four. I Dont believe this. I am such a fool.. I knew all this had to be too good to be true. he should have alteast called if he was going to be late. Five. That does it you have been stood up. leave while you still have some dignity left.

The next day I boarded the bus to work determined to give him a piece of my mind when he got in later. Ten minutes later, the bus stopped, two girls got in and the bus started moving. Strange. Oh well. Its not the first time he hasnt taken the bus. He's probably cant face you after standing you up.What a jerk! ugghhh I was so wrong about him. I was so furious.

He did not take the bus the whole week. By friday my anger had turned to concern. There had to be a reasonable explanation for him not turning up or calling. There was no point in jumping to conclusions, I had to swallow my pride and call him. So on saturday morning, I dialed his number. After three rings, I heard a female voice say "Hello" The voice seemed strangely familiar, I could have sworn i had heard it somewhere quite recently.
"Hi, Could I speak with Oren?"
Silence for a long moment
"Um, May I know who's calling?"
"This is Tara, we work in the same office. "
Silence. She took a deep breath.
"Oren died last sunday."
The words struck my ears real hard and echoed in my head.
"What!?" I exclaimed "This cant be.. I mean I spoke with him sunday morning and we were to meet at four that afternoon."
"Yes, He had to drop me off at our parents place and then on his way back...." her voice trailed off..I could hear her sobbing. But my mind was ticking away.. I wanted answers.. This was too much to comprehend and I was getting impatient.
"Wha. what happened?" My throat was dry.
"He was in an accident, he was hardly recognizable." She started sobbing again.
I felt dizzy. I dont remember at what point I dropped the phone and found my way to my bed and sat down. I dont remember how long I sat there. I dont remember thinking anything. I just sat there staring blankly at nothing. I dont remember when the tears started flowing.

As days went by,I would often wonder why our paths crossed when things were to end so abruptly even before they started or why didn't I initiate friendship when I had so many chances before, I could have spent some more time with him, gotten to know him better.I was so absorbed with the hurt and despair from my past relationship that I overlooked what I had in front of me. God knows what all I let go off because of my inability to pick up the pieces and move on.It dawned on me one day that even though at times we may not understand why things happen the way they do but Its true that everything happens for a reason and I know that for the couple of hours I spent with him at the coffee shop, it stirred something in my soul in a way that no one else could.I always thought no-one could replace Pete and when It ended with him, something inside me died. But Oren helped me to realise that I still had hope for the future and that I was still alive. I just needed one meeting with him to discover that and maybe that's what was all that was meant to be.

A month passed by since his death and one day as usual I was standing at the bus stop waiting for my bus. There was still about five minutes before the bus arrived when I heard a voice ask." Hi! Are you waiting for the bus that goes to TNT?" I looked up into a pair of gorgeous blue eyes and nodded my head. I then looked away and smiled!

~ The End ~

Set Your Mind Free!

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix , movie 5 of the series released this Friday the 13th all over. Being a HUGE Potter fan I was mighty excited and my excitement doubled when it was announced that as a part of our Friday fun activity at work , our boss is taking the entire team out for the movie. Well originally we were going for Die Hard but due to ticket unavailability, Harry Potter won :-)

As expected there was excitement around to match mine and lots of .. "Oh no I dont like Potter"... "Its a kid film"( yeah like you're 90 !!) These are the kind of people that really annoy me. From the time it was announced that we would be watching Harry Potter, emails were shot across to bring everyone up-to speed with the story, but those who never attempted to discover the magic of Harry Potter were obviously not going to start now! So what followed was a lot of people cribbing, people can be so ungrateful at times its just sickening, I mean here we are going for a movie funded entirely by the management.. all we had to do was get our butts to the movie hall... but No! I will crib .. its part of who I am... If I dont crib, I wont be able to digest the popcorn and pepsi... sheesh!! Well anyway I decided I would not sit next to someone who was hell bent on spoiling the fun.. and thankfully that part went well. I sat next to a friend who just recently discovered the magic of Potter! Ah! well not all is lost in this world!

Post the movie, when everyone were exchanging notes, the cribbers were on a roll again.. . going on and on and on and on about how bad a film it was, and how much they dint like it (like they are experts on movie making ) One thing I dont understand... Isn't it obvious that if you haven't been following a story you wont understand it? This is something that I've noticed, that a lot of Non potter fans I know have not thought about. Just recently a friend of mine commented that he saw Harry Potter and he dint quite like it and that he just wanted to give me feedback!! Sheesh.. and this from a person like many others who haven't even read a single word of any of the Harry Potter books and who doesn't even know whats happened so far in the story.WoW! Some authority eh?. Like a wise man said "Where ignorance is bliss, 'Tis folly to be wise" [Hey! Spare me the shoe for that comment! ;-)]

Okay, here's the real thing that ticks me off- zero tolerance. I have observed that a lot of people I know have a bizarre idea of what movies are about. They expect that a movie should be as close to reality as possible and if it strays away even for a second, its bad or silly or kiddish. Its just impossible to convince them to watch just ANY movie with you. They would at the beginning of the year make a list of the movies they wanna watch and religiously stick to that list, or they would browse for hours over various newspapers for movie reviews or if someone who saw the film says its bad, will refuse to watch it. I mean get a life! Dont you have your own Brain? Aren't you capable enough to decide on your own whats good or not ? These people should not even attempt to watch commercial cinema and stick to them Arty films or better still Documentaries. I have even come across people who believe that you should watch movies suitable for your age!! So nothing in the world could persuade them to watch a Shrek, or a Ice-age or even a Spider-man at the age of 25, coz God forbid, that might tar their image!

Honestly when people say " Thats a Kid's film or its not my age to watch this" I feel sorry for them, coz they have no imagination and Movies are all about imagination. They are meant to be soaked the way they are. You can have your preferences but to demean a film just coz its based on fantasy and coz your teeny little brain has no room to understand it.. is a pity! When Spidey 3 released. some were like, it wasn't that great, the characters were illogical (sandman and the alien goo thingy), there was no story and blah blah. Right! And a man bit by a spider, who gets super spider powers is so realistic na? It happens all the time doesn't it?!!

Same goes for books, I know some who would read a short story and at the end say, I dint like it much, the ending wasn't good. I mean, a story is someone's imagination. It is for the reader to decide whether the pace is right, is it captivating enough .. rather than comment on how the story should progress and eventually end. For instance, when you ask someone who's just read a story, as to how it was and they go, "oh well, I dint like it much, it shouldnt have ended the way it did. It should have progressed into a murder, horror or love story... etc!!" Is it so hard to see things the way they are without having to always want to change it?

So to all of you out there, go beyond the ordinary, open your mind to the possibilities and free your imagination.

"I am imagination. I can see what the eyes cannot see. I can hear what the ears cannot hear. I can feel what the heart cannot feel." - Peter Nivio Zarlenga

PS: This article isn't meant to offend anyone. These are general observations I have made and besides I was just blowing off some steam.. and I feel soo much better!! Phew!!! ;-)