"Mujhe na gaaliyan sunai deti hai, na tareef. Sunai deta hai toh sirf ek naam.. Shahrukh Khan!! "

I just realised that I have this Blog and I have not even dedicated a single post to the most important person in my life - Shahrukh Khan!.. and so ever since this dawned on me I have been kicking myself in the butt (something which is not easy to do, I must tell you. there are so many factors to consider..one needs a lot of practice to master the technique such as right posture, angle of the leg , wind direction ..etc etc... ) Right! coming back to the point... I must declare (without sounding boastful or anything) that I am THE BIGGEST, MOST LOYAL(17 years and still going strong) SHAHRUKH KHAN FAN in the galaxy (what? you want proof?? ... Nonsense.. I DONT need to prove anything.. if I say I am ... I AM! ).

The thing is, just when I thought Shahrukh has reached the peak of sexiness .. has impressed me beyond possibilities and this is after watching him up until Chak De... he goes and does this.....


6 PACK ABS!!!???!! WOHOAAAA BABY!!!

He was flawless, awesome, mind-blowing even without six pack abs...but now... well ..is there a word bigger than super awesome or super mind-blowing?? coz if there is, its definitely meant for him. But seriously, its super inspiring to see that even at the age of 41(he'll be 42 on 2 Nov) he is so energetic, so full of life and is a perfect example of how one can achieve anything if one sets his/her heart to it. And its not only with the fact that he built up his body, but so many instances from his entire life that prove that If he has undisputed success worldwide today, inspite of not being a star son, or not having a godfather in the industry,.or because he was plain lucky.. its because he had a dream and he believed in himself...the credit goes solely to him. There is so much more to Shahrukh than his performances on screen. What people fail to notice about him, apart from going beyond his acting skills, is that inspite of living amidst people for whom success is a trade, friendships are pretentious and everything is about me,myself and my money, he has managed to etch a place for himself by living a life full of dignity and integrity. He has not forgotten where he came from and how he got to where he is today. All this is so prominent from the way he conducts himself in public. He is the quintessential self made man!

If this sounds like Im saying he's perfect..then , yes...thats exactly what he is! If you think he hams , he's still perfect coz no one can ham better than him, if you think he sounds vain and pompous at times, then he is, and still perfect.. coz if he is vain and pompous he has every right to be, after all he earned it all by himself. Love him or Hate him, you just cant ignore him. :))

At this point I must mention that if you are one of them species who do not like Shahrukh Khan, please exit the blog and if you had the slightest inkling of leaving me a comment that speaks low of him , then let me state that anything negetive said about him would be considered a personal insult to me!!

Tomorrow Will Be Beautiful!

Here's my first attempt at writing Romance....Before you read the story, Let me clarify that even though the story is narrated in the first person it has no connection whatsoever, to me! This is purely fictional and out of my imagination. I just needed something close to reality to help me relate to the charector so that I could explain the emotions and hence the first person narration. So dont go getting any ideas.. like some of you already have!! Let me know if you think I was succesful. ;-)

It was an extremely warm morning showing all signs of turning into a sultry and oppresive day. I stood at the bus stand, like I did everyday, waiting for the bus to arrive that would take me to work. As always it arrived at a quarter past 8. I boarded it and headed for my usual seat at the back of the bus and settled down near the window. After a 10 minute drive the bus stopped and I cast my eyes upon the entrance with anticipation.A tall figure dressed in a crisp white shirt and blue jeans climbed in. He walked down the aisle, eyes  scanning for an empty seat and for a second they settled on mine. My heart skipped a beat and I looked away quickly shifting my attention to the scene outside the window. He settled down two seats ahead of me on the other side. "YEAH RIGHT !!! LIKE if he sat next to you, you'd strike up a conversation! Get a grip..will you? "the voice in my head taunted." "I dont want him to sit next to me ", I though back in response. "I dont need this"

The next day, I was back at the bustop, boarded the bus and took the seat at the back as usual. 10 minutes later the bus stopped and he climbed in. He was dressed in a blue checked shirt and light brown trousers today, looking handsome as ever. As always he scanned the length of the bus for an empty seat.A moment later a whiff of strong cologne intoxicated my senses reminding me of the wild woods.I turned around and found myself looking into a pair of gorgeous deep black eyes.He had occupied the seat next to me. He gave me a smile and I felt as if I would die. I quickly looked away as though nothing happend. My heart beating so loud that I held my breath from the fear that he might hear it. My mind was fiercely ticking away,

"Whats wrong with you ?HE smiled at you and you just looked away.Ughhhhh What were you THINKING? How stupid can you get? He probably thinks you're  nuts.. you're so STUPID.. STUPID.. STUPID!!! .. Let him, I dont care what he thinks of me, I dont know him and its not like I have feelings for him. I dont want to talk to him!"

For the rest of the journey, I kept my eyes glued to the scene outside the window as the bus sped towards its destination, hoping with all my heart that I could just turn invisible.

Days went by, turned into a month and everyday he would board the bus 10 minutes after I did, but except for that one time, he never sat next to me. However with each passing day, I kept thinking about him more and more and the fact that he kept clouding my thoughts annoyed me. "Get a life woman! Im warning you , dont make the same mistake again! Wasn't what happened with Pete a lesson enough? " Thoughts of Pete took me back to the pain, a time over a year back, still fresh in my mind as if it happened just yesterday. Pete and I met in college and took an instant liking to one another. We were together for 4 years and it seemed like nothing could tear us apart. But I was horribly wrong. He was the most devoted, caring and loving boyfriend or so I thought until that evening at a party at one of Pete's colleague's house. We went together.. he introduced me to his colleagues and left me with some of his female coworkers and disappeared. It had been over an hour since I saw him around and I started getting worried. So I excused myself to go look for him. The house was big and I walked around keeping an eye out for him and asked a couple of his friends but they hadn't noticed where he went. I walked up the stairs to the corridor leading to the bedrooms and heard a woman giggling. Thinking I was probably invading someone's privacy I turned to go back down and then I heard Pete's voice talking to the woman giggling. I walked back up towards them. It was coming from one of the bedrooms. I leaned against the door and listened. It was clearly Pete. I pushed open the door and the sight made me sick to my stomach. I dont remember how I got back home. I was in such a daze. How could he do this to me. We spent 4 years together, did that not mean anything to him? I thought he loved me. We were planning to get married. I was devastated. The last thing I expected was my Pete to cheat on me. I was so heartbroken. For a year, I kept to myself, I lost all faith in love and pushed my family and friends away. But then recently I decided that by being this way I was unfair to my friends and family and so I came out of my shell. I had however written men off my life. " And so I'm not going to let this guy bother me "

One day, on a saturday I was at the local coffee shop, seated on a comfy chair in one corner, completely engrossed in a book, when I heard scraping of chairs close-by. I looked up annoyed at being interrupted and looked at the source of the noise. A familiar face caught my sight, a face that I had seen too many times in my dreams, Something I couldn't understand and tried to fight too many times. I followed his every move and then I noticed the other woman. As tall as him, she was almost pretty.If it wasn't for the smug expression on her face and an air of haughtiness around her, she would have been quite a beauty.

I felt something stir in me, an annoyance rising, threatening to explode as I watched the two of them talk. She seemed to be fretting over something and he was trying to console her. "Gawd! what attitude! I wonder what he sees in her." I muttered to myself with exasperation. I tried to get back to the book but couldn't concentrate. My thoughts kept drifting to him and the woman with him.My emotions fluctuated from intense jealousy at watching the amount of attention that woman was getting from him to extreme frustration at myself for feeling jealous over someone I didn't even know and clearly did not care about. "Dont lie to yourself girl, you like him... No I dont.. shuttup!!

The woman received a call, spoke to someone for a few moments and disconnected the phone. Then she said something to him and rushed out. Her abrupt exit was quite unexpected and for a split second my heart fluttered at the realisation that he was alone now and that maybe..JUST maybe...,"Oh ! PUHLEEEEZ! Give me a break! With your attitude, even the waiter wont bother asking you for your order! " That inner voice of mine interrupted.

I dared not look at him with the fear of exposing the hopeful expression on my face." So much for the No men pact you made for yourself!! " But inspite of that I couldn't help but feel drawn to him and so stole a glance at his direction. Our eyes met and for a long moment they stayed transfixed on each other and then he smiled. I stared blankly at him as if he were something unusual and exotic that I had seen for the very first time. Then as though something snapped in my brain,I quickly turned away, raised the book and buried my face deep into it. My nose almost grazing the fine text. I shut my eyes picturing myself banging my head with an extraordinarily large horse shoe! "Tch Tch woman!! WHEN WILL you learn...you are SO hopeless.. HOPELESS!! " mocked my blabbering inner voice. "Shuttup, I dont want to talk to him. Why am I acting like a silly schoolgirl.!! "
 
"Ahem ! Uh! Hi!" , said a deep voice softly over me. I looked up and he was standing there waiting for me to respond. (Say something NOW !)
"Hey! " (Thank God you did not gag while saying that!)
"We go in the same bus to work, dont we?" A silent moment passed that seemed like a light year. "Say something you idiot! He asked you a question. Have you just gone deaf? " The voice inside my head exclaimed.
"Uh! Yes, that's right" He gestured towards the empty seat opposite me seeking permission.(Say yes, say yes, say yes, Geez! Do I have to prompt for every word and action now !! ) I nodded and he sat down.
"I'm Oren." He extended his hand waiting for me to grasp it. I tried to move my hand but it took a moment to coax it to move (Sheesh ! you are NOT paralyzed. Stop acting like one !).
"I'm Tara". I managed to smile while saying that (Yeah, you should get an Oscar for your effort! )
"Thats a pretty name" he complimented
"Thanks! Yours is a weird name." I blurted out  (WHA ! I think I'd better prompt.. you are gonna ruin your chances! ) And immediately added ,"Uh, I meant unusual.. not weird ..and not unusual in a weird way ,, unusual in a different .. nice kind of way.. uh" Paused, took a deep breath and added. "What does it mean ?" (Hoo  boy! stop ..STOP..STOP  You're embarrassing me..!! )
He let out a little laugh, a laugh that lit up his eyes and made him look even more handsome. I thought if I sat there longer watching him smile and talk like that I'd just melt. I've liked guys before but no guy ever made my knees buckle, speech fumble, or make me feel so light headed that created a weakness that sank into my body as if I'd lost all control. I just couldn't understand the paralyzing effect he had on me.
" It means Ash or pine, and thats quite alright. I get that a lot" he was saying (Pay attention woman! ) Coming back to reality, I mustered up a smile to cover up the fact that I wasn't listening and commented  " Oh! thats nice "
"So, what are you reading ?" he asked
"Oh! Im reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire", I almost whispered that in embarrasment. ( Great going, he probably thinks you're in kindergartan!!)
"Nice! My favourite part was when Harry fights the dragon. It was more exciting when I read it compared to when I saw it in the movie. I can't wait to read book 7.." I stared at him in disbelief for a second and then smiled. "Hah! for this one time you were wrong..." I told my inner voice.
 
We sat there talking about topics ranging from books, travelling, music, movies, to politics at the workplace to why people prefer coffee and not Tea, to the ways men woo women! As time ticked I warmed up to him and realised how easy it was to talk to him. He seemed well informed about everything and was open to my opinions which was what made it so easy to talk to him. He was very charming, I got the feeling that it mattered to him if the other person was confortable and enjoying his company or not, which to me seemed like wasn't much of a problem for him seeing that it was so easy to fall in love with him.He also seemed so comfortable with himself, completely oblivious to the fact that he looked like a Greek God! He was so unlike the others I'd met. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the thought of Pete. Thats what I thought of Pete at first. "Oh get off Pete. He is NOT Pete."
 
"Oh! Look at the time. It's almost seven thirty. I should be getting home, its getting late." I said looking at my watch and got up.He followed suit. Being a gentleman, he walked me out the coffee shop. Before going our seperate ways we stopped for a minute to say goodbye.
"Its funny, we take the same bus to work everyday and it takes us a trip to the coffee shop to finally talk". He said.
"Well! They say friendship blossoms over a cup of coffee." I commented trying to be witty "Wha! who said that? That has got to be the dumbest thing you've ever said", The voice was back.A smile beamed across his incredibly handsome face and I let out a silent sigh relieved that my silly comment did not ruin things yet.
"Would you," he paused "Uhm like to probably do something tomorrow.. you know maybe go out or something.. That is if you are not doing anything else." ("My My so he can fumble with words too! ")
(Say yes..YES you DODO.. dont just stand there staring at him blankly) "Uh! yes, I'd love to" I couldn't help smiling ear to ear.
"Great! Could I have your number?" He asked sounding a little relaxed after my answer.

We exchanged numbers and he said he would call me in the morning, then we said our final goodbyes and went our different ways. I lived about a five minute walk from the coffee shop. Today somehow it took me 15 minutes to get home. With a song in my heart, a smile in my eyes and a skip in my step I made my way home, oblivious of the sounds of people going about their business, or the rustle of leaves as a soft breeze shook them, or of the cloudy night sky above me. I was on cloud 9 and I just couldn't understand how I felt this way.

Sunday finally came, but not too soon for me. It rained the whole night and by the time I woke up the sun was out bright and beautiful amongst large fluffy white clouds. I couldn't have asked for a better sign. By the time I finished breakfast, I became restless.As always my mind ticked away in hyper over drive mode "When will he call.. Its almost 10 .. he should have called by now. He said he would. Oh God! what if he doesn't call.. what if he just said he wanted to go out and changed his mind later? No. he wouldn't do that. He's such a nice guy. If he changed his mind he would atleast be a gentleman and call. Just be patient will you ? Its only 10 , probably he's still sleeping. after-all it IS sunday. Control your emotions woman!"
I decided that the only way I was not going to think about if and when he would call, was by keeping myself busy, I decided to help mum with cleaning. An hour and a half later, my phone rang. My heart leapt into my throat. "Its him"
I stared at the phone flashing his name, for a few moments. Gathering my thoughts and taking a lungful of breath,I answered.
"Hey!"
"Hey, Good Morning!" (ooh I could just drown in that voice)
"Good Morning"
"What's up?"
"Oh! nothing much, was just helping mum with the cleaning around the house". "And waiting restlessly every moment for you to call." I added, in my mind.
"Ah! being the ideal daughter eh?" He teased.
"I'm ALWAYS the ideal daughter!" I said with mock irritation.My heart leapt at the sound of him letting put a hearty chuckle.
"So, You still want to meet up today?" He asked finally
"Yes." I answered almost immediately.
"Great! How about we meet at the coffee shop at four sharp and then decide what we want to do?"
"Sounds like a plan." I agreed.
"Super! So I'll see you then."
"Yep. see you. Bye."

I headed for the coffee shop at four. I figured he could wait for 5 minutes, after all I dont want him to think Im so eager to meet him by turning up on time. ("Oh yeah you do..Liar!" Mocked my inner voice) As much as I wanted him to wait for me, i couldn't help but walk a little fast. but when I reached the coffee shop he was nowhere in sight. I checked my watch. it was five past four. I went in to the coffee shop. Probably he's waiting for me inside. I surveyed the tables, but he was not sitting anywhere. I felt a little annoyed. I dont believe this. He's late.Oh well i guess I have no choice but to wait. I walked to my usual seat at the far end of the coffee shop and plopped myself on the sofa. It was the best seat in the house, secluded in one corner it gives you the personal space and privacy to do your own thing and enjoy a good cup of coffee. And the angle is great because you can see what's happening around and who comes in and goes out. My eyes darted from the door to my watch.. It was quarter past four now.. the door opened.. and i looked expectantly.. a group of college guys walked in.. I looked at the watch again twenty past four... thirty minutes past four. Should I call him and find out? NO Dont you have any self esteem woman? Give him another 10 minutes and if he doesnt come just leave. Let him call you and apologize and then give him a piece of your mind. quarter past four. I Dont believe this. I am such a fool.. I knew all this had to be too good to be true. he should have alteast called if he was going to be late. Five. That does it you have been stood up. leave while you still have some dignity left.

The next day I boarded the bus to work determined to give him a piece of my mind when he got in later. Ten minutes later, the bus stopped, two girls got in and the bus started moving. Strange. Oh well. Its not the first time he hasnt taken the bus. He's probably cant face you after standing you up.What a jerk! ugghhh I was so wrong about him. I was so furious.

He did not take the bus the whole week. By friday my anger had turned to concern. There had to be a reasonable explanation for him not turning up or calling. There was no point in jumping to conclusions, I had to swallow my pride and call him. So on saturday morning, I dialed his number. After three rings, I heard a female voice say "Hello" The voice seemed strangely familiar, I could have sworn i had heard it somewhere quite recently.
"Hi, Could I speak with Oren?"
Silence for a long moment
"Um, May I know who's calling?"
"This is Tara, we work in the same office. "
Silence. She took a deep breath.
"Oren died last sunday."
The words struck my ears real hard and echoed in my head.
"What!?" I exclaimed "This cant be.. I mean I spoke with him sunday morning and we were to meet at four that afternoon."
"Yes, He had to drop me off at our parents place and then on his way back...." her voice trailed off..I could hear her sobbing. But my mind was ticking away.. I wanted answers.. This was too much to comprehend and I was getting impatient.
"Wha. what happened?" My throat was dry.
"He was in an accident, he was hardly recognizable." She started sobbing again.
I felt dizzy. I dont remember at what point I dropped the phone and found my way to my bed and sat down. I dont remember how long I sat there. I dont remember thinking anything. I just sat there staring blankly at nothing. I dont remember when the tears started flowing.

As days went by,I would often wonder why our paths crossed when things were to end so abruptly even before they started or why didn't I initiate friendship when I had so many chances before, I could have spent some more time with him, gotten to know him better.I was so absorbed with the hurt and despair from my past relationship that I overlooked what I had in front of me. God knows what all I let go off because of my inability to pick up the pieces and move on.It dawned on me one day that even though at times we may not understand why things happen the way they do but Its true that everything happens for a reason and I know that for the couple of hours I spent with him at the coffee shop, it stirred something in my soul in a way that no one else could.I always thought no-one could replace Pete and when It ended with him, something inside me died. But Oren helped me to realise that I still had hope for the future and that I was still alive. I just needed one meeting with him to discover that and maybe that's what was all that was meant to be.

A month passed by since his death and one day as usual I was standing at the bus stop waiting for my bus. There was still about five minutes before the bus arrived when I heard a voice ask." Hi! Are you waiting for the bus that goes to TNT?" I looked up into a pair of gorgeous blue eyes and nodded my head. I then looked away and smiled!

~ The End ~

Set Your Mind Free!

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix , movie 5 of the series released this Friday the 13th all over. Being a HUGE Potter fan I was mighty excited and my excitement doubled when it was announced that as a part of our Friday fun activity at work , our boss is taking the entire team out for the movie. Well originally we were going for Die Hard but due to ticket unavailability, Harry Potter won :-)

As expected there was excitement around to match mine and lots of .. "Oh no I dont like Potter"... "Its a kid film"( yeah like you're 90 !!) These are the kind of people that really annoy me. From the time it was announced that we would be watching Harry Potter, emails were shot across to bring everyone up-to speed with the story, but those who never attempted to discover the magic of Harry Potter were obviously not going to start now! So what followed was a lot of people cribbing, people can be so ungrateful at times its just sickening, I mean here we are going for a movie funded entirely by the management.. all we had to do was get our butts to the movie hall... but No! I will crib .. its part of who I am... If I dont crib, I wont be able to digest the popcorn and pepsi... sheesh!! Well anyway I decided I would not sit next to someone who was hell bent on spoiling the fun.. and thankfully that part went well. I sat next to a friend who just recently discovered the magic of Potter! Ah! well not all is lost in this world!

Post the movie, when everyone were exchanging notes, the cribbers were on a roll again.. . going on and on and on and on about how bad a film it was, and how much they dint like it (like they are experts on movie making ) One thing I dont understand... Isn't it obvious that if you haven't been following a story you wont understand it? This is something that I've noticed, that a lot of Non potter fans I know have not thought about. Just recently a friend of mine commented that he saw Harry Potter and he dint quite like it and that he just wanted to give me feedback!! Sheesh.. and this from a person like many others who haven't even read a single word of any of the Harry Potter books and who doesn't even know whats happened so far in the story.WoW! Some authority eh?. Like a wise man said "Where ignorance is bliss, 'Tis folly to be wise" [Hey! Spare me the shoe for that comment! ;-)]

Okay, here's the real thing that ticks me off- zero tolerance. I have observed that a lot of people I know have a bizarre idea of what movies are about. They expect that a movie should be as close to reality as possible and if it strays away even for a second, its bad or silly or kiddish. Its just impossible to convince them to watch just ANY movie with you. They would at the beginning of the year make a list of the movies they wanna watch and religiously stick to that list, or they would browse for hours over various newspapers for movie reviews or if someone who saw the film says its bad, will refuse to watch it. I mean get a life! Dont you have your own Brain? Aren't you capable enough to decide on your own whats good or not ? These people should not even attempt to watch commercial cinema and stick to them Arty films or better still Documentaries. I have even come across people who believe that you should watch movies suitable for your age!! So nothing in the world could persuade them to watch a Shrek, or a Ice-age or even a Spider-man at the age of 25, coz God forbid, that might tar their image!

Honestly when people say " Thats a Kid's film or its not my age to watch this" I feel sorry for them, coz they have no imagination and Movies are all about imagination. They are meant to be soaked the way they are. You can have your preferences but to demean a film just coz its based on fantasy and coz your teeny little brain has no room to understand it.. is a pity! When Spidey 3 released. some were like, it wasn't that great, the characters were illogical (sandman and the alien goo thingy), there was no story and blah blah. Right! And a man bit by a spider, who gets super spider powers is so realistic na? It happens all the time doesn't it?!!

Same goes for books, I know some who would read a short story and at the end say, I dint like it much, the ending wasn't good. I mean, a story is someone's imagination. It is for the reader to decide whether the pace is right, is it captivating enough .. rather than comment on how the story should progress and eventually end. For instance, when you ask someone who's just read a story, as to how it was and they go, "oh well, I dint like it much, it shouldnt have ended the way it did. It should have progressed into a murder, horror or love story... etc!!" Is it so hard to see things the way they are without having to always want to change it?

So to all of you out there, go beyond the ordinary, open your mind to the possibilities and free your imagination.

"I am imagination. I can see what the eyes cannot see. I can hear what the ears cannot hear. I can feel what the heart cannot feel." - Peter Nivio Zarlenga

PS: This article isn't meant to offend anyone. These are general observations I have made and besides I was just blowing off some steam.. and I feel soo much better!! Phew!!! ;-)

Sane driving? Wuzzat??

Driving on Delhi roads is no less adventerous than say bun-jee jumping or river rafting or even a highly charged up video game. Its Heart skipping... emotional..and a whole lot of fun in a sadistic way.

A typical day -

Start your journey to wherever it is you want to go by making some necessary checks-
Seat belts .... Check!
Hand break down... Check!
Mirrors in place .... Check!
Key in ignition ... Check!
Fuel tank filled just about enough so that you dont get stranded halfway ... Check!
Take a deep breath and make a small prayer so that you get out of this alive...Check!

So now you're driving along merrily, Check your rear view mirrors.. No cars..bikes..bullock-carts...tempos...autorickshaws or even cows on your trail ? Good !! but dont get all relaxad as yet, here's the turn that takes you into the busiest road, well! come to think of it even the narrowest gulley looks like the whole damn world is in it! So,you're making your way along this road and here's when you got to be on full alert. Thank God you're strapped on safely..Umm.. on second thoughts I think you should wear a helmet and a safety jacket too.. you never know what might strike and from which direction!!

So now that you've entered what can also be called a battlefield, there are a couple of rules-
> Driving straight and sticking to your lane WILL get you killed for sure!
> If your way is blocked by a bullock-cart, auto-rickshaw, bike or even a leisurely cow and you DONT swear, scream or honk your brains out.. well! Tch Tch...not only is this a Foul, you are missing out all the sadistic pleasure you can possibly feel by not doing so.
> Ignore all signboards telling you to control your speed limit, No U turns, No overtaking etc. All hogwash if you ask me.They were just put there to beautify the city. (you see, Trees take too long to grow) Trust me on this.
> 100 Bonus points for Jumping the Red signal.
> 10000 Bonus points for Speeding... (wooohoo.. whooshing past..okay.. ahem! )
> 10000 Bonus points if you can zigzag your way through the traffic without bumping into another vehicle.
> JACKPOT- If you can dodge the traffic cops for adherence to all of the above.

Ok so? What is it with Delhiites and their traffic sense or lack of it ?
Methinks its Patriotism to blame, this love thy country thingy. The "Treat Bharat Ma as your own.. take care of her as your own" feeling overflowing in people's hearts. As a result we think that everything in the city including the roads are our personal property! And since its all mine I'll treat it any way i want.I'll drive straight, backwards,.zigzag...heck! even horizontally.. I'll spit and pee anywhere I like.. what's your problem ?

Dream on...

Its been a while since I scribbled something on my blog.. I realised its been rejected far too long and if you're thinking this is probably an prologue to a new story I've written.. you're wrong... my mind's completely blank on that front ..and if you're waiting for one then its going to be a while. ( im guessing you dont really care, who am I kiddin!) However if you are interested, then I must tell you I am on a reading spree.. I recently joined the library at work and that's been keeping me busy But I'm not going to talk about the books I've been reading ,no matter how entertaining they were.

Ever since I finished the last story.. (one that I'm not really excited about) I've been wanting to write a highly charged, emotional and thought provoking story.. No! nothing heavy like lost family values, poverty or the life in war torn Afghanistan .. I'll take my time getting there. Recently I watched this movie on HBO - "The Ice Princess" The story is about Casey who is in high school and who's one & only dream is to be an Ice Skater. She lives with her mum who strongly disapproves of the sport because of its short shelf life and wants her to focus all her attention in getting into Harvard. So,she sneaks out whenever she can to practice skating and during this course comes across a teacher and daughter duo. The teacher is a perfectionist and is coaching her own daughter to be a skater.The story progresses to show how both these young ladies are striving for something that is not thier dream but thier mothers'. The teacher's dream was to be a ice skater and since she could'nt realise that dream she pushes her daughter to pursue it . Same bieng the case for Casey, who's mother's dream has been to go to Harvard and wants Casey to complete that dream for her. As the story progesses further, Casey realises that even though she loves Ice skating , she's just about average at it but since she is passionate about it she wants to give it one shot.. one big effort to see how far she can push herself. So, she rejects Harvard and tells her mum " I'm giving up on your dream. I'm going after mine." Her mother is heartbroken and thier relationship is strained from there. Even though Casey realises that she hurt her mother, she continues with her skating in the hope that if her mother just saw her skate one time, she would realise too how passionate she is about it. Anyway, at the end, all the hardwork and commitment pays off and she gets the silver at a Interstate ice skating competition and her mother is there to witness it. All's well that ends well.

In India (i'm sure it happens elsewhere too), most parents want thier sons / daughters to pursue a field of thier choice, live a dream they had to abandon because they had to do something that got them the money but no job satisfaction. So, they slogged all thier lives to be financially secure and then looked upon thier children to realise thier long lost dream of becoming a Doctor or Engineer or something else. Considering all that our parents have done for us, taking on thier dream seems like a small price to pay or maybe its just easier to give in or maybe seems selfish not to do so.It definetly takes a whole lot of guts to stand up for your dreams when there are so many expectations out of you. I'm not saying one should go against what our parents want out of us, but one should atleast make an effort to reach out and have the courage to stand up for one's dream. If not anything, atleast a chance to know for ourselves if the dream we had is our destiny or not. We owe that much to ourselves.

“The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. It isn't a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream.... It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for. Not failure, but low aim is sin."
— Benjamin Elijah Mays, American educator and president of Morehouse College (1895-1984)

Twisted Intentions - Final Part

Name - Benjamin Pio.
DOB- 16 Oct 1952
Address- 10 Alcala de Guadaira, Seville. Spain
Occupation- Accounting supervisor , Seville Bank.
Marital Status - Widower


Officer Sanchez finished going over his file at the police station. From the looks of it there was nothing interesting about him, boring was the word. The only thing closest to exciting was a couple of speeding tickets he managed to get about 4 months back. He did not fit the profile of a killer or a rapist from any angle but then the semen sample did belong to him. This can’t be so simple. Sanchez thought to himself. He jotted down the address and left the station.

Officer Sanchez along with two of his subordinates reached Benjamin’s house in 15 minutes. It was two blocks away from Mrs. Gustavo’s house and looked identical in construction, but then all houses in Alcala de Guadaira looked the same. He rang the bell and waited for Benjamin to answer. After about two minutes there was no response and he rang the bell again. Still no response. He peeped through the window to see if there was any activity inside, but all was dark.

“He hasn’t been home in weeks,” Said a heavy accented voice from across the fence. Officer Sanchez looked at the direction from where the voice spoke. It was a neighbor. Sanchez noticed a woman probably in her late thirties dressed in jeans and an oversized shirt. She was trimming the hedges when she noticed the officers pull up ahead of her house.

“When was the last time you saw him?” Asked Sanchez walking over to the fence towards her.

“Hmm. It was sometime in the first week of September. He came over to return the lawnmower he borrowed from me before leaving for work. After that I have not seen him,” She continued.

“Can you tell me about anyone who can help me with his whereabouts, family, close friends, people who visited often..anyone?” he asked.

“Well, apart from the usual people, the gardener, cable guy, there were a couple of friends. And then ofcourse there was Carmen Reyna a regular visitor” And her face contorted in disgust as she said that.

Sanchez’s eyes gleamed as he noticed that a cue was coming from nowhere. He asked intriguingly, “ A regular visitor?”

“Si, but I don’t understand officer, why a good man like Benjamin, who had no vices would keep the company of a prostitute. And moreover if he chose to avail her services then I don’t understand why would he do it in a respectable locality like ours. I would think he was sensible not to flaunt it so openly. And this is the only reason he was ostracized by the neighborhood. We don’t really care what happens to him now ”

“Could you please tell me where she lives?” asked Sanchez while scribbling in his notebook.

Mockingly she says. “ Oh come on officer, you’re a MAN and a man of the law, it should not be difficult for you to trace a whore. I know you people have very good connections with such a tribe. Now, if you will excuse me I have to attend to some work. Good Day Officers.” With that she turned around and stormed into the house.

Officer Sanchez did not think twice about her abrupt exit and he and his subordinates returned to the station. He runs a search through the computer’s database and finds the file on Carmen Reyna.

Sanchez pulls up in front of Club El Mundo. He turns off the engine and waits. The club is located in the heart of the city in a shady side street. He watches a woman in a red leather mini skirt and top approach a car and talk with the driver. After a few moments she gets into the car and they drive off. Sanchez makes a note of the car’s number plate and model and then starts the car and drives off.

On his way, he receives a call from the station informing him that they had found a burnt up car at the bottom of a cliff on the outskirts of Seville. The number plate recovered was registered to Benjamin Pio.

Sanchez reaches the location at the bottom of the cliff in 40 minutes.

The officer in charge of the scene walks over to Officer Sanchez.

“Buenos Dias, Soy Inspector Dimas. This way por favor” He said directing him towards the car’s remains all burnt up and in ruins, ”a local found the remains and called us. We found the partly burnt number plate,” he said handing it over to Sanchez, “it is registered to Benjamin Pio. I heard that you were on the lookout for him and so got dispatch to contact you.”

“Gracias.” Said Sanchez walking over to the car and examining it and then asked, “ Was he in there?”

“Si, his is charred beyond recognition, God have merci on his soul. We found some of his belongings that confirm that it is Benjamin. We also found a knife with blood on it.” Inspector Dimas hands a plastic bag with the knife in it to Sanchez.

Sanchez examined the car and after about half an hour left the site heading for the station. He sent the knife for examination and the report confirms that the blood on it belongs to Mrs. Gustavo. Now he is certain that Benjamin Pio was the killer and rapist. It looks like he was trying to flee the place after hearing about the statewide hunt for him and somehow lost control and went straight down the cliff.

Sanchez was relieved yet disappointed. Relieved that the case was finally over and disappointed because it seemed to end so easily. He wound up for the day, informed Adrian of the outcome and went home to relax with a glass of whisky on the rocks.

The next day Sanchez went to the church to clear his head and ran into Nieve.
He walked over to her and introduced himself as the investigating officer in Adrian’s grandmother’s murder.

She gave him a blank expression and said, “I’m sorry I did not know that Adrian’s grandmother was murdered. Adrian and I have not spoken in months.”

Sanchez looks puzzled, “That is weird, just the other night, I was to meet Adrian in the evening for drinks after work and he mentioned that you would be joining us”

Nieve’s expression turned to anger, ” Adrian and I used to go out a long time back but we broke up. I am married now but he just wont let me be. I have told him many times not to bother me but he just wont let go” Then she paused to think if she should say more or not and then deciding that she should, continued, “ After I got engaged 6 months back he threatened my fiancé warning him to stay away from me. When we just ignored him, he went to his place and beat him up for no reason. Since then I have been trying to stay away. “

“Really?” Officer Sanchez was surprised. “In the brief time I know him, he has been calm and has been handling this incident with his grandmother well.”

“Well, all I can say is that he goes through these mood swings and at times he loses his temper and at that time he does not know what he is doing and in such times he is capable of doing anything.”

Sanchez thanked her and left the church.

A week later, Adrian was sitting in the kitchen sipping his morning coffee and reading the paper when he chanced upon an article.


TOP COP OF SEVILLE – MARCUS SANCHEZ FOUND DEAD

Saturday, October 02, 2006 Seville

Early last evening, Officer Marcus Sanchez of the Seville police station was found dead in his apartment at 16, Avenida del Jardin, West Seville. The cause of death was due to an overdose of marijuana and a half empty bottle of Whisky was found at the scene indicating that he his death was a result of a mix of drugs and alcohol. He was 47 years old and lived alone. Per the post mortem report, time of death was September 31, two days before his neighbor discovered his body. Funeral to be conducted at 5 pm on Sunday, 03rd October by his neighbors.


Adrian finished reading the article and put the paper aside. He got up, picked up his keys and walked out the door to go to work as though nothing happened.

The next day, being Sunday Adrian went to the market He had just stepped out of the café on to the street when a short man dressed in a business suit and a hat, appeared in front of him. Adrian stopped abruptly and looked at the stranger. All he could see was that he was bearded and wore dark glasses, his face was not clear. Adrian tried to step aside but the man blocked his path. Adrian looked puzzled. The man looked him in the eye and said disgustedly “Why did you do it?”

Adrian looked at the man in puzzlement and then in mock seriousness said “ Funny Huh? But I had to do it and it brought me luck“ With that he walked off laughing.

That evening at 5, Adrian attended Officer Sanchez’s funeral.

The next morning on his way out Adrian stops to check his mailbox. He finds a package with just his name on it and no name of the sender. He gets into his car and opens the package curiously.

In it he finds a little box, he opens it and notices a note, as he reads it his hands start to tremble.

“ You forgot to get rid of this. I’m sure you would not want the cops to get a hold of it “

Below the note he finds a small notebook, he opens the book to a random page and reads his own writing, ” …mama Gustavo was the only person in the whole world who really understood and loved me… how could she betray me like this….”

His mind started to race trying to figure out how this could have gotten into someone else’s hands. “ How could I be so careless, I forgot about this journal, who is this person and how did he get a hold of this?” He tries to recall any visitors in the last couple of days, apart from Officer Sanchez he could not think of anyone and Sanchez was dead.

Adrian puts the journal aside and drives off furiously.

Later that afternoon, during his lunch break he receives a call on his cellphone. Its an unknown number.

“Hola”, he answers

“Did you like the surprise?” says a deep accented voice

“Who is this? And what do you want?”

“Who I am does not matter. Its what you did is what matters. Did Carmen ask you to do it?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. And I don’t know any Carmen” Saying that Adrian hangs up the phone.

Adrian wiped the sweat off his forehead and walked into the store manager’s cabin and told him that he would like to go home as he is not feeling well and then left the store.

Adrian reached home and locked all the doors and windows and peeked out the window to see if there is anything suspicious outside. He walked into the kitchen and switched on the stove and burnt the journal. He then poured himself scotch on the rocks and went into the living room and sat on the couch. He shut his eyes and tried not to think of the journal and the phone call he received earlier in the day.

Adrian woke up with a start when the doorbell rang. He must have dozed off. He checked his watch. It was 10 to 6 in the evening. He walked to the door and opened it.

“Hola Adrian.” It was the man from the market. ”It was rude of you to hang up on me like that, but that’s muy bien no hard feelings, what say we have a couple of drinks and finish that conversation I started?” He said smiling.

Adrian at first did not know how to react and then he started getting furious. He was about to shut the door on the man’s face when he stopped it with his foot.

“There’s nowhere to hide, Adrian. Its over! ” the man said, his voice losing the humor

“ Leave me alone or else I’ll call the police.” Adrian shouts furiously.

“Go ahead, it would make it easier for me” he dared Adrian

“What do you want?” Adrian said feeling hopeless now.

“I want you to confess” The man said bluntly

“Confess what? I have done nothing.”

“Alright, then let me refresh your memory. For starters how about plotting your grandmother’s murder along with Benjamin’s stepsister Carmen. Does that ring a bell or should I go on?”

Adrian stared at him blankly, his face turning pale.

“I know it all Adrian. Carmen told you about the affair between Benjamin and Mrs. Gustavo and that made you mad. So mad that you agreed to the her sick idea.”

“That’s a lie.” Adrian stammered.

“Is it? You claimed that you did not know Benjamin. But you know his stepsister really well. I know that you are a regular visitor at Club El Mundo where she works. Is this proof enough?” Saying that he pulls out an envelope with a photo of Carmen and Adrian getting out of Club El Mundo.

“I did not know they were related”

"So, you agree that you know Carmen? "

“Si, but that still does not prove anything. And how does this concern you.. Who are you?”

“You will find out soon enough. But first here’s the proof you’re asking for. We managed to get your friend Carmen to give us all the answers. ” saying that the man takes out a tape recorder and switches it on.

Adrian listened to Carmen’s voice revealing how Carmen came to him and told him about the affair between Mama Gustavo and Benjamin. Of how they planned the murder..Adrian “accidentally” walking in on Mama Gustavo and Benjamin in bed and then losing his temper and killing Mama Gustavo by slitting her throat with a fruit knife.And knocking Benjamin unconscious and then carrying him to his car and driving him to the outskirts and off that cliff.

“STOP!!” Adrian screamed and fell to the floor.

“ PLEASE STOP!! Yes! YES !! I killed her!! She betrayed ME .. the one person in this whole wretched world who was mine ..MINE .. but she did not love me.. she loved that.. that.. Benjamin.” He spat out that name in disgust.

“I knew that he visited her in the day when I was at work and so I cam home early that day and found them in bed. Behind my back! How could she.. she always said that I was the one and only special person in her life .. but she LIED!!I told her how she hurt me.. betrayed me. But she wouldn’t listen. She defended him. Said that I was overreacting and that I was still her little angel. LIES ALL LIES. And then Benjamin interrupted. How dare he come between mama and I .. he was the cause of all my pain. I lost my temper and hit him hard and he lost consciousness. I went to mama and grabbed her by the hair. And picked up the knife and and slit her throat.”

Adrian’s voice dipped and he started sobbing. ”I was so furious , I did not realise what I was doing.I was blinded by rage and when I calmed down she was gone. I tied her hands and legs and gagged her mouth with the bedsheet.it felt like the right thing to do at the time.”

There was a long silence after which Adrian continued remorsefully . “ I sat there for a long time trying to calm down but It was like I was in a trance. All I could see in front of me was the betrayal, the heartbreak she caused me. She knew that I had a loveless childhood and that she meant the world to me”.

After another long pause. The man took off his hat, glasses and peeled off the fake beard. He then placed his hand on Adrian’s shoulder and said , ” Hijo”

Adrian looked up at him and froze. “ Officer Sanchez.?. but you were…” He asked in disbelief.

“Si,It was an act. I suspected you for a while and did not know how else to get you to confess. What did you do with Benjamin?” He asked.

Adrian looked at him and spoke in an emotionless tone “ He was still unconscious, so I tied him up and carried him to his car and put him in the passenger seat. Then I drove him just outside Seville where there is a cliff. It was dark and deserted and I put him in the driver’s seat and placed the knife with him and pushed the car down.I walked a mile and then hitched a ride and reached home and after a while called the police”.

Sanchez took a deep breath and glanced back signaling his deputies to come over. “Handcuff him! “ He ordered them.

At first Adrian did not resist. Just when the officer was about to handcuff him, he noticed his gun holster and grabbed it. He took a step back and put the gun to his head.The officers are taken aback and the other deputy and Sanchez pulled out their respective guns and pointed it at Adrian.

“Don’t be loco Adrian.” Sanchez shouted. “Put down the gun NOW!”

“NO!! I DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE AFTER WHAT I DID!!”

And with that he pulled the trigger!


~~~~ El Extremo! ~~~~~

Happy New Year!!

I realise that this Blog has been real quiet for a while.. incase anyone who does by chance visit it once in a while.. I'd like to Thank you and wish you a happy and extremely fulfilling 2007.

As for the deathly silence on this blog, I promise to make lots of noise this year starting off by completing the murder mystery I started.. :-)