Twisted Intentions - Part 2

Little Adrian was sitting all alone in a corner of the park and watching Mrs. Gustavo offering the baked cookies to the boys. She noticed him and walked over.

"Hola allí, Hijo!!" Mrs. Gustavo smiled as she sat next to him on the bench "you are new here, aren’t you? Cuál es tu nombre?"

Adrian kept quiet.

She looked at him patiently, smiled and said, "So, you don’t talk much. Huh?? No problema, Acqui." She offered him the cookies, "take one."

Bitch!! He mumbled under his breath and got up without looking at her and ran away.

The next day, dressed in a beige skirt and a white blouse with a scarf around her neck, she sat next to him on the bench again.

"Hola Am back. You did not take a cookie yesterday, I guess you were not hungry . " She said smiling and looked at Adrian observing him. He was wearing blue jeans and striped shirt. There was a blank expression on his face and soon after she sat next to him he twitched nervously in his seat and looked down at his shoes.

She continued, "I was hoping you would try one today, so, I brought some for you." She opened the container and offered the cookies again. The smell of freshly baked cookies hit his senses and his mouth watered. Slowly he extended his hand and grabbed one cookie and then he ran from there. Mrs. Gustavo watched with amusement.

As time went by, he remained reclusive as if he had decided that he did not need anyone in his life. But Mrs. Gustavo was not the kind of woman who gave up easy when she saw a challenge, and a challenge he was.

One day, as usual at the park, Adrian was sitting on the bench watching the other kids play soccer. He watched as a short and chubby boy chased the ball towards the goal, he must have been a few yards away when another boy, taller and athletically built cut in and kicked the ball with all his strength. The ball flew in the air, landed a few meters away from Adrian, bounced and hit his left foot. He looked at the ball and then towards the boys who were now running towards him and then with a slight jerk of his left leg he pushed the ball behind him in another direction, it rolled a few meters away into the woods behind him. The boys approached led by the tall one that had kicked the ball He wore a blue-stripped jersey with the name “Pablo” printed on the front. He looked mean and had a scratch on his right arm suggesting rough play.

He walked over to Adrian and growled, "Why did you do that?"

Adrian kept quiet staring directly into the mean boy’s eyes.

Pablo paused a moment and then repeated himself.

Silence.

"I guess he is deaf!" he said mockingly to his teammates standing behind him. All of them roared with laughter.

Pablo stopped laughing as he noticed that this was not affecting Adrian at all. He lost his temper and moved closer to Adrian and poked at his shoulder, "You are a smart one eh? I saw you kick the ball away. You are messing with the wrong guy." With that he caught hold of Adrian’s collar and pulled him to his feet.

Adrian’s expression turned grim that instant, his eyes blazing with rage. He caught Pablo’s wrists and jerked them away with all his strength. Pablo stumbled a bit and steadied. He raised his had to punch Pablo, aiming at his nose, when through the corner of his eye he noticed Mrs. Gustavo getting out of her car. He lowered his hand and took one step backwards. Pablo did not think twice as to why Adrian drew back and used this opportunity to make his move. He quickly raised his fist and with all his might rammed it into Adrian’s nose. He writhed in pain and crumpled to the floor. His head was spinning as fast as the wheels of a car in motion.

"Get away from him, you rascals." The boys heard a voice scream at them from behind.

Adrian heard scuffling of feet as the boys ran away. He then felt a warm hand on his arm.

"Eres Fino, Hijo?"

He still felt a little disoriented and it took him a little while to realize that the voice he heard belonged to Mrs. Gustavo. With one hand over his nose, blood running down over his mouth, he looked up at her and then made an effort to stand up.

"Oh Mi Dios, you are bleeding," she exclaimed grabbing her purse. She pulled out a tissue and placed it over his nose.

"Come, Ill take you home. " With that she caught hold of his arm and gently guided him towards her car. Her house was 10 minutes away and they drove quietly all the way.

Upon entering the house, she directed him towards the kitchen and helped him onto a chair and took out a first aid box from one of the cupboards. She looked at Adrian’s nose, it was still bleeding and also turning into a weird shade of purple. She put some antiseptic lotion on a piece of cotton and cleaned the blood. Adrian flinched in pain.

"Steady," she said and continued to clean the blood of his nose. She handed him a fresh piece of cotton and asked him to hold it to his left nostril and tilted his head backwards. She then helped him off the chair, his head still tilted backwards and one hand holding up the cotton, taking him to the living room. She helped him lie down and removed the cushions so that his head stayed at the same level, to stop the bleeding and then sat on the couch facing him.

"What happened?" she asked.

He was quiet for a moment and then spoke softly, hardly audible at first.

"As usual, I was sitting at the park watching the boys play. One boy kicked the ball towards me and then they all came over. They made fun of me and called me names. Then that big boy punched me"

"Just like that? For no reason? I know those boys. How could they just hit you without reason?" She sounded agitated.

"I don’t know" he replied.

"Hmm," she said as she took a deep breath."Well, lets forget about that, I’ll deal with the boys later," she realized that he was in pain and did not want to pursue this further. As it is he kept to himself and she saw this as an opportunity to break the ice.

Getting up from the couch, she said, "Well, you rest for a while, I will go get you some milk and cookies." And she walked away towards the kitchen.

Adrian lay on the couch, thinking about what happened at the park. He did not know what compelled him to push the ball away like that, but it felt good. Those stupid boys, I hate them! he thought to himself. Then his mind diverted to Mrs. Gustavo and how she brought him home and tended to his bleeding nose. He did not know what to make of it. No one had saved him or taken care of him like this before. He had disliked Mrs. Gustavo too. He had thought she was a pretentious bitch who tried to be too sweet with everyone, but realization dawned on him that she was naturally good at heart or she would not have brought him home and nursed his nose. He felt something mixed for her, confusion and amazement along with happiness and relief at her compassion.

She came back with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk and placed it on the table in front of him. He got up, the bleeding had stopped, placed the cotton covered with dried blood on the table and looked at Mrs. Gustavo.

And then he smiled. A smile that lit up his face and he said with all sincerity, "Gracias!"

She smiled back knowingly and offered him the cookies.


The sound of the doorbell brought Adrian back to the present. He got off the couch and walked towards the door and opened it.

"Buenos Diaz, Officer. Come in," he said stepping aside to let Officer Sanchez in.

It was noon and the temperature outside was as hot as an oven.

"Ah, gracias! This heat is going to kill me one day." he declared as he walked in and set his hat on the side table.

"I’ll get you some lemonade." Adrian offered while closing the door and walking past the officer to the kitchen.

"Bless you, Hijo" he said gratefully as he sat on the couch.

Adrian returned a little while later carrying a jug of lemonade and two glasses on a tray. He poured them and offered it to Sanchez. He gulped down the whole thing and heaved a sigh of relief.

"Any new leads?" asked Adrian.

It had been a week since the murder and there had been no progress in the investigation. Adrian was clearly getting frustrated with that.

"I think so," he said scratching his head and taking out his little notebook. "I visited Mrs. Gutierrez earlier this morning"

"And?"

"Well, she told me that she came over for lunch like everyday but on that particular day there was an unexpected visitor"

"An unexpected visitor?" Adrian looked intrigued. Finally there was some movement in the investigation.

"Si, it was the gardener, Diego. Apparently he claimed that Mrs. Gustavo did not pay him for the job he did the previous two weeks and wanted her to pay up. There was an argument that followed and Mrs. Gutierrez even mentioned that Diego almost attacked Mrs. Gustavo"

"That imbecile, I’m going to twist his arm out of its sockets!" he exclaimed in rage.Then as if realizing that what he just said sounded inappropriate he apologized.

Officer Sanchez looked at him puzzled. This outburst seemed most unusual. However he shrugged it off owing it to the fact that Adrian was prone to get hyper at times when it concerned his grandmother.

"That’s fine, Hijo. I understand your frustration but you need to stay calm and not judge anyone until we have sound evidence."

"Si, I am sorry. So, what is your next step?"

"I will pay Diego a visit. But before that what can you tell me about him."

"Well, we hired him about two months back. I did not like him much but he came highly recommended by the neighbors. Besides …"

"Why did you not like him?" Officer Sanchez interrupted

"He came across as rude and arrogant. He once came to work with a bruised eye and when I asked him how he got it, he told me to mind my own business. Later I found out from one of the other gardeners that he was drunk at a local bar downtown and had a fight with the bartender because he refused to serve him more alcohol."

"Hmm. Interesting. What is his surname?"

"I think its Mendez."

"Okay" Officer Sanchez scribbled the name in his notebook."Great. I shall see if I can get some background on him."

He closed the notebook and put it in his pocket and started to get up when he noticed a framed picture on the side table. It was of a very pretty girl and Adrian embracing each other. He had not noticed the picture earlier.

Adrian saw Officer Sanchez looking at the picture and said, "Oh, that’s my girlfriend, Nieve."

"Very pretty," he said as he picked up the picture to have a closer look. "Have not seen her around?"

"Um, well she was in Barcelona for a year studying Architecture. She is back now and has been a little busy."

"Aah! Brilliant. Beautiful and intellectual. Very good." Officer Sanchez smiled and patted Adrian on the back.

"You must introduce her to me." He continued as he walked towards the door and picked up his hat.

"Si." Adrian replied and opened the door to let the officer out.

"Hasta Luego Adrian"

Adios.


Diego got out of his car and slammed the door. He was a well built and muscular man in his early twenties and was dressed in a pair of worn out jeans and a black shirt that was soaked in sweat and stuck to his body like a plastic wrap clings to any surface. His shoes were covered with mud and blades of grass indicating that he had just got back from a job. His left arm was tattooed in the design of an angry serpent, its forked tongue colored in blazing red. He walked over to the back of the car and took out his gardening tools from the trunk and then disappeared into the building.

Officer Sanchez watched him walk into the three floor, worn down apartment building. It had taken him over two hours to find this building in downtown Santa Ana, 4 miles from the posh locality in which he lived. It was surrounded with similar looking apartment buildings on both sides of the street, worn down by the intense heat that beats down relentlessly throughout the year. Paint was worn off and cracks on the buildings suggested poor or maybe no maintenance at all. There was graffiti on the walls. Abuses and profanity in Spanish splattered all over. Officer Sanchez never had the need to come here earlier, however he had heard from other officers about gang wars and murders from this area. This was clearly an unsafe neighborhood to be in. But he was here to do his job. Back at the station, Sanchez did a background check and found that Diego had a past one wouldn’t be proud of. He had been behind bars on account of Petty theft, small time fights after getting drunk and gang wars. Sanchez was sure that Diego had something to do with Mrs., Gustavo’s murder. All he needed now was proof to put him behind bars for all eternity.

Inside the building, Diego got into his one room apartment, dropped his tool bag and walked over to the refrigerator and took out a can of San Miguel. He took a big gulp and walked over to the TV and switched it on.

Just as he sat down, the doorbell rang.

He uttered a curse and went to open the door.

"What do you want?" he growled at Officer Sanchez.

"Diego Mendez?" Sanchez asked flashing his badge.

Diego grumbled again and with a flick of his head gestured him to enter.

"What did I do this time?" he asked sarcastically

Sanchez ignored his tone and said, "That’s what I am here to find out."

Sanchez walked over to the closest chair he could find. He looked around the room and noticed that hygiene was not one of Diego’s favorite words. The room was scarcely furnished. There was a open kitchen to the left and a living room to the right. Right across the main door was the bedroom and across the kitchen was a bathroom. The living room was in a mess, as if it hadn’t be cleaned in months. Clothes strewn all over on a old and worn out couch. Cans of beer everywhere. Boxes of take out food lay by the sink. There was an odd smell in the air, something like a concoction of dead rodents, rotten vegetables and beer. Diego seemed oblivious to the smell.

He found a chair that looked cleaner than the rest, to his right and sat on it.

Diego followed behind him and walked over to the couch, pushing the clothes aside and sat down.

"Do you know Mrs. Gustavo?"

"Yeah, that old bag ,she refused to give me my dinero. What about her?"

"She was murdered a week ago."

"Really? That’s bad. What does that have to do with me?" He said flatly.

"Well, you were the last one to see her alive the day she was murdered. And according to Mrs. Gutierrez, her neighbor, you and Mrs., Gustavo had an argument where you almost attacked her."

"Hah!" Diego smirked."What nonsense. Both the old hags are crazy! I was merely asking her for what was rightly mine. That old bitch owed me money for two weeks of work I did. The first time I went to her she said she would give it to me the next week, as she was low on cash and then she conveniently forgot about it."

"So? You raised your hand to hit her?" he asked accusingly

"Are you loco? The old hag looked like she’d fall if you just poked her with a finger" He guffawed at his own joke.

Officer Sanchez stared at Diego with a grim expression, not finding anything amusing in what he just said.

"Where were you the evening of September 5th, after your little confrontation with Mrs. Gustavo?"

"At work, where else. I had one more lawn to mow after my meeting with the old hag and then I went out drinking with friends." He said casually.

"How do I know you are telling me the truth? You don’t exactly have a reputation of a saint!"

Diego looked at him with disgust.


Officer Sanchez was sitting by the poolside at Café de Las Indias opposite the Santa Justa station on the eastern edge of the Seville city. It was around six in the evening and a cool breeze blew starting to cool down the city after a really hot afternoon. Sanchez sat quietly sipping his latte and watching people around him intently. He noticed a family of four sitting at the table opposite him. A man, woman and two small kids, one was about a year old and the other one was a baby. The mother was trying her best to keep the restless little fellow seated quietly. He would kept running towards the pool and she would chase after him, pick him up and make him sit on the chair. After a few moments, obviously restless and when his mother’s attention got drawn towards her husband and the baby, he would quickly slide off the chair and run towards the pool again screaming in delight at the thought of fooling his mum. He did this a couple of times. After a few frustrated attempts at taming him, she grabbed him and plonked him on the table wagging a finger in anger. After a while the family left. Around him waiters moved about, but Sanchez’s thoughts kept drifting back to the investigation. It had been two weeks without any considerable progress. Diego’s alibi had turned in his favor. Now he had no suspect. Back to square one. He did not know how to proceed further.

His thoughts got distracted by the sound of chairs being dragged to seat a woman at the table in front of him which had been occupied earlier by the family of four. It was a couple in their early twenties. The woman was dressed in a pair of low waist jeans and a red top fitting snugly and revealing a flattering figure. She looked vaguely familiar and Sanchez searched his mind to find where he had seen her. The man with her was tall and very good-looking. They had pulled the chairs together so that they could sit close. They looked like newly weds and Sanchez noticed a big diamond ring on her finger, which confirmed that assumption.

Sanchez started to get a little restless as he watched them. He was certain now that he had seen her somewhere. Just then his phone rang. It was Adrian. And then it struck him. That was Nieve, Adrian’s girlfriend. He picked up the phone and spoke with Adrian for a while without telling him about Nieve and the guy she was with. The tables were closely placed and he could hear them speaking. They were talking excitedly about their honeymoon! Something did not seem right here.

He picked up his hat and left the cafe. Once he was out on the street, he dialed Adrian’s number. It rang three times.

"Hola"

"Its me again."

"Ah si, tell me Officer."

Sanchez spoke very casually, "The appointment I had, has been cancelled and I don’t have much to do this evening and I was wondering if we could meet up for drinks. You could ask Nieve to join us as well."

There was a long pause then Adrian spoke, "Aah, yes. Umm why not that’s a great idea. Nieve has been telling me how eager she is to meet you."

"Great then, I’ll be over ay 8. Am looking forward to meeting her"

With that he ended the call. Sanchez was certain that there was something fishy. Adrian spoke as if everything was fine. The couple he saw looked very much in love and were newly wed.

Adrian put the phone down and stood there for a moment thinking. After what seemed like a really long time, he decided that this was the only option left. He picked up the phone and dialed a number. He listened patiently as the phone rang. Once. Twice. Thrice. Then a click and…

"Nieve " he asked in a hushed tone

Yes, Adrian." She recognized him instantly "Why are you calling me?"

"I know you have asked me never to call you, but I was wondering if you could help me out. Just one last time. For old times sake?" He pleaded.

Nieve sighed and then spoke, "Listen Adrian, I am a married woman now. It is inappropriate of you to call me. And after what you’ve done I do not want to be associated with you I have told you many times before just leave me alone." Her tone got agitated. "Don’t ever call back" And with that she banged down the phone.

Adrian stood there listening to the silence on the phone. Anger rising in him like a wave rising in the ocean during a storm. With a quick sweep of his hand he threw the phone across the room. It traveled across the room and hit the lamp enroute and crashed on the floor.

Officer Sanchez arrived at 8 pm sharp. He entered the house and handed over his hat to Adrian. As he walked to the living room he noticed the broken lamp kept carelessly against the wall and knew something was odd. He had felt it the moment he walked in and also from the way Adrian greeted him. He had seemed preoccupied with something. There was an odd tension around like when one walks into a room after a terrible argument has died down.

"I’m really looking forward to meeting Nieve" he said casually, trying not to sound like he sensed something was wrong.

At the mention of Nieve, Adrian seemed to snap out of whatever was occupying his mind and he tried to sound casual, "Uhh. oh yes, Nieve.. Ummm. well, she had to be somewhere else.. Uhh.. a friend of her’s is having a bachelorette party.. I guess I forgot about that when I told you that she would be coming." His tone betrayed him and he sounded nervous when he said that.

Officer Sanchez knew he was lying.But why won’t he admit it that she is married? Why does he still behave as though she is still a part of his life?

Just then Officer Sanchez’s cellphone rang. Adrian watched as he spoke and scribbled something in his notebook, then thanked the caller and disconnected the phone.

Then he turned towards Adrian and said calmly, "Adrian, Hijo. I have good news. The result of the semen test is finally out. I think we may have found your grandmother’s killer!"

To be continued...

Twisted Intentions - Part I

It was almost 06:30 PM as Adrian pulled up in front of Mrs. Gustavo’s house. The house was on the corner of 8 Alcala de Guadaira in Seville. Mrs. Gustavo was an 62 year old widow who lost her husband, Sergio, to a heart attack about 5 years ago. Mrs. Gustavo lived off her husband’s savings. Adrian at 23 was in his final year at university and was studying law. He moved into the same locality with his dad when he was 8 years old. His mother died while giving birth to him and his dad worked as a store manager. As a little boy, Adrian was very shy and did not make too many friends. He would go to the local park every evening, sit on the bench and watch the other boys play. Mrs. Gustavo loved children as she could not have any of her own. She would also come to the park with baked cookies for the boys. One day she saw little Adrian sitting alone and offered him cookies and that’s how their friendship began. Everyday she would sit with him, she tried to get him to talk to the other boys, but Adrian was an introvert and liked being by himself. As days went by, Mrs. Gustavo became his best friend. He would go over to her place and help her bake the cookies. She would tell him stories and pamper him like he was her son. And now after all these years, she was like the mother he never had. Adrian’s dad passed away about two years back in a freak accident when a fire broke out in the supplies room of the store. Since it was in the basement, no one heard his cries for help. He was trapped and died of suffocation. Since then he had been living with Mrs. Gustavo and she funded his education.

Adrian used his key and entered the house. Normally Mrs. Gustavo would switch on the porch and main hall lights and a light from the TV would flicker from the living room. However this evening all was dark and quiet.

“That’s odd...” he thought

Adrian placed the keys on the side table at the entrance and switched on the lights in the main hall and walked into the living room which was on the left of the house and over to the lamp and switched it on.

“Mama Gustavo “shouted Adrian as he walked across the living room towards the kitchen. He pushed the door and entered. There was no one there. There was another door on his right which led back to the main hall. There was a big study to the right of the main entrance. It was filled with books and a big teakwood study table. Sergio Gustavo was an avid reader and Mrs. Gustavo had let the room be as it was after he died. Adrian switched on the light and surveyed the room. Then he turned around and walked up the staircase towards the bedrooms.

“Mama Gustavo “he called out. Again no response.

“This is strange, where could she be. She never leaves the house.” Thought Adrian.

He reached her bedroom and slowly opened the door and stepped in. His head started spinning as he saw the sight in front of him.Mrs Gustavo lay in a pool of blood on the side of her bed. Her hands and legs were tied and he mouth was gagged. Her throat had been slit open. Her eyes were wide open and the expression of horror was frozen on her face.

Officer Sanchez had been with the Fairview police station for over 10 years. He was a short and stout man in his late forties with sandy hair cut close. He was a bachelor and a man of few words, he wasn’t very comfortable with emotions and remained detatched.All he cared about was his work. He looked at Adrian, who was sitting on the couch in the living room. Adrian was in shock and had a blank expression on his face. He was oblivious to what was happening around him. Cops moved around looking for fingerprints or any other evidence that could give them a clue.

Officer Sanchez sat on the sofa next to Adrian.

“Hijo, I can understand this is difficult for you. But it would really help us in the investigation if you could answer some of my questions.”

Adrian nodded his head in approval.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Adrian took a deep breath and said, “Well I got home as usual around 06:30. Normally Mama Gustavo switches on the lights by this time, but all was oscuro.I looked around the house for her and found her in the bedroom... “He stopped to take a deep breath.

“Acqui”, Officer Sanchez said as he handed him a glass of water. Adrian took a sip and placed the glass on the table.

“Did you notice anything out of place or out of the ordinary when you checked the house?”

“No, all the doors were locked. Everything was in place”.

“Do you know anyone who would want to hurt Mrs. Gustavo?”

“No, Mama Gustavo was the sweetest person. She always helped people in the neighborhood and never raised her voice. I don’t know who would want to hurt her.”

“What about money?”

“What about it? She wasn’t a very rich lady. There was money that Mr. Gustavo has saved and she pays for my college tuition with that money. I also have a part time job at the local supermarket from 3 - 6 pm and we manage with the money I get from there.”

“Hmm...What about this house? This must cost a fortune. Does she have any other children who might want this property?”

“No, Mama Gustavo did not have any children. I was adopted by her after my father passed away about two years back.”

Officer Sanchez scratched his chin,”Hmmm this is intriguing. Whoever did this did not do it for money or property. There is no sign of a forceful entry or anything missing so the person must be known to Mrs. Gustavo. Can you tell me who all visit the house in the day?

“Umm well let’s see, there is Mrs. Gutierrez who lives across the street. She is a widow too and her two sons live away from home. She and Mama Gustavo usually have lunch together everyday. Apart from that there is the usual, paperboy in the morning and Diego, the gardener comes once a week but he hasn’t come in yet this week.”

“Okay”, said Officer Sanchez as he scribbled in his notebook. “Ill have a word with Mrs. Gutierrez. Please call me if you can think of anything else that could give us a clue”

“Seguro”, said Adrian

That night Adrian couldn’t sleep. He had a vivid dream where he saw a masked man strangling Mama Gustavo. She was screaming ...” Ayuda! Ayuda!” and Adrian sat on his bed watching, paralyzed. He couldn’t save Mama Gustavo and watched helplessly as the masked man killed her in front of him.

Adrian woke up with a start, beads of sweat dripping from his forehead. His heart was beating real hard. He looked around the dark room and realized that Mama Gustavo was dead and sat there on his bed and cried.


Two days later Officer Sanchez knocked on the front door of Adrian’s house. Adrian opened the door. It was 10 in the morning and he was in his pajamas, his hair ruffled and a stubble on his face. He looked like he had not slept in days.

“May I come in?” asked Officer Sanchez, “the post mortem report on your grandmother just came in.”

“Seguro”, said Adrian and let the officer in.

They went to the kitchen and sat at the dining table. The kitchen was in a mess. Used utensils piled in the sink and half eaten takeaway food lying on the counter. There was a kettle on the stove brewing coffee. Adrian poured some in a cup and offered it to the officer.

“Gracias “he said as he took the cup from Adrian.

“What is this new information you have?” Adrian asked as he took a seat opposite the officer.

“Well, this may come as a shock to you and there is no easy was to say this.” He took a sip and continued. “We found traces of semen in your grandmother’s blood. I’m afraid she was raped.”

Adrian choked on his coffee and yelled hysterically “Qué??!!! Cómo es eso posible”.

"Por favor, calm down!!" Said Officer Sanchez

“This is enfermo, she was 62 years old, this man must be enfermo…!!” Adrian continued hysterically

“Si, Convengo con ti. We will do our best to catch your grandmother’s killer. I promise you that. Please get a hold of yourself.”

To be continued...

Behind that....!

You come over and talk to me
Something in your smile
Tells me that it aint sincere
Behind that smile you hide.

That look in your eye I have seen before
Tells me that you don't care
You say I just dont get it
And there is nothing I can say
Behind those eyes you lie.

I have tried too many times to come close
But all you did was push me away
You said you did not mean to
Is there something here to believe
Or is it just another part of the game you're playing?

I have believed in you many times
I swear I am not going there again
I have seen that wall around you
And I dont think I can do this again
Behind that wall you hide.

You walk around with no care in the world
Take people for granted
You say you dont need no one
You think they want to hurt you
Behind that pretense you hide.

Betrayal - Incomplete.. still working on it ..!

I gave him my heart my soul my money
For he said he'd love me plenty
And now he's gone, fled the country
and left me with his dirty laundry.!!

Home Alone.! - My first attempt at story writing..!

The clock struck 3:00 AM , and I woke up with a start as I heard a noise. I sat on my bed straining my ears and listening .. there it was again.It was really faint and I could not make out what it was. My heart skipped a beat and I felt goosebumps. My folks had left for Bangalore that evening and I was home alone and the thought of someone in the house scared the hell out of me. I sat there on the bed paralyzed wondering what to do next.. part of me wanted to go and investigate and part of me just wanted to crawl under the covers and shut my eyes tight. I decided I wasn't going to be a coward and told myself its probably just a mouse and that my imagination was going haywire.I got off the bed and as I did the bed creaked.

"Damn...!! Shut up you dumb thing " I mumbled under my breath.

I slowly tiptoed towards the door. There was a baseball bat against the wall near the door, which belonged to my brother.I picked it up for defence..just incase the mouse decides to pounce on me.! I slowly opened the door and peeked out. It was dark and quiet.. everything seemed normal. I almost heaved a sigh of relief and decided to turn back and get into bed .. when I heard that noise again.. this time a little louder and continuous. It came from my parent's bedroom and sounded like someone singing .My heart was beating so hard I thought I would just faint.Slowly walking towards my parents bedroom I quietly opened the door and stepped inside, baseball bat ready to pound anyone who dared attack me at that moment, and then I heard it loud and clear ..

"Believe me, baby,
I didn't plan it this way
I thought I'd see you one night and
Forget you the next day "

My heart stopped beating as the music played..I stood there paralyzed.. thoughts rushing through my head...
"Where is this coming from...there is no one home except for me.. how could this be happening ??..... should I go in and check or not .. oh God.. what do I do ?? "

Reluctantly I took a step inside and reached out for the light switch on the panel and turned on the light... the music continued to play. The music system was placed on the far end of the room in a corner. I scanned the room and there was no one there.I walked towards the bed which was in the middle of the room and took up most of the space and slowly bent over and peeked under it. Again, no sign of anyone there.

" Strange" .. I thought to myself.

I got up and walked towards the music system to turn it off. As I reached for the button, I noticed that the deck was empty with no tape inside..

"what the heck..!? " I thought, "how the hell is that song playing then? "

The system was old and the CD player had not been working for months and mum wasn't too keen on fixing it either. So that option was ruled out. I quickly switched off the main power and pulled out the plug and the music stopped. As I turned around to go back to my room...I froze..!!

There stood my mum near the door staring at me angrily and then she said " You're going to miss your bus again..! " and then I could feel myself shaking...

I woke up with a start .. and stared at my mum bending over me, waking me up.. I looked around and saw that I was lying on my bed and then it struck me...that it was all just a dream...!!

And I heard mum saying on her way out... " kab sudheregi yeh ladki.. saari raath music system on rakhti hai .. uff..!! "

You were there.!

In my darkest moments of despair
You were there... to hold me tight
You said everything would be alright
... and it was.

When I wanted to be alone... you understood
You knew... and never left my side
You said you would never let go
... and never did.

When my spirit took flight
You were there... sharing my joy
You said I deserved every bit
... and I believed in you

Through the heartbreak and the tears
You were there... holding me in your arms
You said you will love me forever
.. and you still do

You always seem to touch my soul
To you I owe all the strength I feel.
Now looking back through it all ..
you stood by me when no one else did
And I want to say to you..
I love you .. My best friend..!!

- Namrata

Empty Within

Sitting here all alone
Inside these four walls
Drowned in silence
I take comfort in solitude

Thoughts elude me
I know not how I feel
the voices in my head
died along with me

I've become amused
I've become blind
I've become illiterate
to all my emotions

I embrace reality
with a clouded heart
that feels no love
with an open wound
that hurts no more

Hope, love, loneliness and pain
don't mean a thing anymore
as I take a step towards
a dark and uncertain future..!!

Longing

Endless nights..
sleepless .. restless
Thoughts of you
like a fever rising in me

Time stands still
Mocking my plight
When will this night end
when will I see you again

A beautiful starlit sky..
silhouette of the moon
Breeze softly caressing the trees
like two lovers lost in each other

A lonely heart
longing and craving
just a touch
to ease the pain

The sun awakens
promising a new day
full of hope and sanguinity
until another endless night.!

- Namrata

The One..!

All my life
I had this dream
that I would meet the one
my knight in shining armour
who would sweep me off my feet
and ride away with me into the sunset

Every night I would see him
elegantly attired in a blue cloak
symbolising loyalty and trust
sword in baldric
the paragon of
courage and chivalry
riding his majestic horse

I met many
saw many sunsets
hoping this would be the one
but each time my heart sank
He's playing with me
I told myself
a cruel game
of hide and seek
As time went by
I felt dejected and weary
of the lonely sunsets
the dreams ended
I abandoned my search
lost all hope
he had won and
I had given up

Until one day
lost in thoughts
I bumped into him
The warmth in his smile
a knowing glint in his eye
He looked familiar
I felt an instant connection
There was something about him
that felt like home
he wore blue denim
washburn across his shoulder
he smiled at me and
offered me a ride on his Harley

And as the dream came alive
hope stirred in me
along with uncertainty
and fear of bieng amort
Is he the one?
I am not sure
only time will tell
and I will figure out
if this is my sunset..!!

- Namrata

My Broken Heart

My dear heart...
why are you so fragile...
when you know they will break you

My dear heart...
why do you love unconditionally
when it hurts so much

My dear heart,..
why are you so naive
when you know they will trample on you

There is no one on your side
when will you understand
that its all a bunch of lies
that you don't mean a thing

My dear heart...
when will you accept
that you will never heal
you're scarred for life.

- Namrata

Alienated

They say.. make the effort
seek and you shall find
They say.. take a chance
and it will be yours

They say.. be patient
it comes to those who wait
So.. I did
and I ended up broken

They say.. don't expect
and it will find you
So .. I did
and I ended up broken

All shattered inside
No way to pick up the pieces
Tears dried up
Spirit all torn

They say... we know how it feels
to be broken and shattered
No one will ever know
that all I ever wanted
was to belong
that all I ask for
is to fill this void deep inside of me

They say.. we care
that this is all in my head
Then why do I feel this way
feel like... I am alienated

And now I ask no more
I seek no more
I expect no more
Im drained of all energy
devoid of any emotion
Engulfed in nothingness
Now... I care no more.


- Namrata

My very first Poem - Lonely

Why am I here
where noone can see me
why do I have a voice
when noone can hear me

why do I feel
when noone cares
why do I exist
when im invisible

Im tired of living this way
all alone in the crowd
feeling hollow and empty inside
why oh why am I me?

Im trapped and want to run
but where do I go
when everywhere leads to here